New year. Same old brain.

Warning. This is not a very happy post. I am not in a good frame of mind today.

I’ve had too much time to think over the last two weeks. And my mind is taking me to a very dark place at the moment.

It’s become clear that I am nothing but a burden to anyone who comes into contact with me. I have tried not to be. I don’t want to hurt people. I have tried to be a good person; to help and give what I can to people. But it seems that there is nothing good about me. I am still toxic. And I can’t see any way that will end – I don’t think my condition will allow it.

I need someone with me tonight more than I’ve ever needed anyone before. But there is no-one I can reach out to; no-one to help. It’s just me. And I am not strong enough to do this any more. Not on my own.

I don’t know what to do.


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