Trying to keep calm

I’m still trying to distract myself from all the Brexit uncertainty. It’s not proving easy (especially as I work in policy, so it’s kind of relevant!).

Today I got my mortgage offer through. It’s all happened very quickly: a month ago I hadn’t even considered buying a flat. And now I’m very close to committing myself to something for the next 30 years. And I’m seriously wondering whether I should pull out.

The flat is almost perfect for me. It’s in a reasonable location and I’m not being over-ambitious with the amount I need to borrow. I don’t even mind if I end up in negative equity for a while, as it’s somewhere that I’d be happy to stay for as long as necessary.

The thing that is making me think twice is uncertainty and worry. Mainly about whether the mortgage offer will be pulled between exchange and completion.

But if I don’t carry on with the purchase, I’ve still got the worry about where I live. Whether my landlord will decide to keep or sell the property I currently rent. Whether the rent will go up significantly. Whether I will ever be in a position to buy again. If I can’t buy somewhere to live, what will happen to me when I retire.

I haven’t decided yet what I want to do.

And I don’t handle uncertainty well. I’m not the kind of person to keep calm in a crisis (and, as a side-note, quoting this poem at me does not help at all). This evening, I’ve had my first real meltdown for about 2 weeks. No harm done. I’m at home and safe, although still scared.

I hope it will all work out. But I’m reminded of the dichotomy between one of my favourite songs and its video…

(It still makes me laugh, though. Which is very welcome at the moment.)

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