When the sky falls in

Well, not actually the sky. Just the ceiling.

The leak in the heating pipe got fixed. But then the next day, I came home from work to find this:

20180308_093452

So I’m still not really back in my flat. The insurance company say it’s habitable as I have a bedroom and working kitchen and won’t give a timescale for the work to be done. I disagree about the being habitable bit as I can get to the kitchen but have genuine reason to believe that an additional part of the ceiling could fall on me. It’s a bit of an impasse at the moment and the uncertainty is really affecting me. I have a hotel booked until tomorrow but after that I simply don’t know what I need to do or where I will be staying.

I’m not really coping well with this.

its not just the uncertainty, although obviously that is difficult in its own right. It’s knowing that, when it happened, when I most needed support, there was literally no-one that I could call on to give practical help or support. There was no-one to help me find or get to a hotel, no-one to give me a hug and tell me that it would be OK, no-one to try and distract me from the shock and uncertainty. That’s not to say that I had absolutely no-one, people were as supportive as they could practically be, just that no-one could provide the physical presence that I needed.

If I’d never had that, maybe I wouldn’t have missed it. But I know that even 3 years ago there were people that I could have called in that situation and that would have come to be with me, if only for an hour or so. But for a variety of reasons, they are no longer so present in my life and I miss having that (and I miss being able to support them, too).

It’s a gap I haven’t been able to fill and, unlike the ceiling, I can’t just wait around for someone to come and mend the damage. That’s up to me – but I have no idea how to even start.

 

 

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